Opening up to a conversation

Timmy and I have done a lot together to build up our mutual trust, release and heal traumas, and learn to just be together in his environment. We have also done some work on finding and sharing the ‘present moment’ in the playpit / arena.

Now, after a summer of rest and processing it is time to progress a little, to have a chat about something different, to test our boundaries a little, to share more of our worries and concerns.

Life is not about finding peace and standing still. Life is about progressing and learning from a peaceful mindset.

In this session on 12th November 2022, I asked Timmy into the play pit, and asked him to focus on me. This is the first step towards acknowledging that when we are together in any environment we don’t ignore each other. We focus on each other and listen.

For Timmy this is a struggle as you can see in the video. (I have now started to voice over the videos to provide details of what is happening as we follow our path). The details of our conversation are there to see in his behaviours.

In summary, just asking him to be with a human to do something, even it is just to focus for a period of time, is difficult for him. He is used to shutting it out, internalising, but the work we have done together has enabled him to have a voice, and now I need to allow that voice to be heard, wherever we are and whatever we are doing, so he can let go.

If he were a human it would be someone whose experiences in their early years and childhood have been quite traumatic, and when they tried to tell someone nobody listened, so they shut it all away. Then somebody comes along and says ‘I am listening – tell me’. The thing to remember is that it doesn’t matter whether you like what you hear, or even understand it, it is about allowing the story to come out so the person can feel that finally someone is there to share their anger / frustration / worry / fears, and will help them release these emotions and find peace.

Also he has always struggled when humans and arenas and him come together. It is a trigger for him. When triggered he would find the nearest post and crib. I did ‘trigger’ some reactions which he shows me with behaviours such as ‘throwing his body about’ and ‘rearing’. Most of the time he just struggles to come down to a place where he can listen and has to walk away. When he does acknowledge the shared feeling of peace it is only for a short few seconds before he has to move his feet again.

But guess what…Timmy did not ask to crib during the entire 45 minute session. That for me shows how hard he is trying to let go, how he wants to let go, and how he knows he can do that with me, at his pace. I can’t and wouldn’t ask for more.

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