Going back to the future

I have had a sense with Timmy that I need to go back to go forward so to speak. He did not crib when he was born. When we are all born all we know in those first few moments is love. Then bodily functions kick in. So can I take him back to those first moments when all there was, was love? His mothers love?

To explore this I did my own meditation first to find my own first moments of love. What I learnt is that this is not something that you remember intellectually. It is something that is just there, part of your being. The love you felt from all those around you when you took your first breath. That stays despite what happens next, and it is an amazing feeling. For those that have had children they will know what it feels like to give that love the moment their child is born. You can also remember receiving it.

Once I had a good hold of that feeling I went down to the barn and invited Timmy to join me in that feeling, sending him that feeling and also picturing his first moments or what I imagine them to be with his mother. He could not help but join me. And Querida also wanted to share this as well. It might not look it but it felt like a very powerful session. (very tiring).

The session lasted about 40 minutes I suppose although I have clipped the video a lot. You will see when he starts to engage as he stops eating and starts going into the present moment. I decided to just sit at the back of the barn and hold and deliver the feelings. He releases both his back legs at various times and you can just see some ear twitches. Slowly he goes in deeper and deeper. About 15 minutes in Querida comes and looks for hay but finds she needs to join us as well. This was a bit challenging because I was now sharing the feeling with both of them. I focussed mostly on Timmy though.

Querida does quite a bit of chewing and licking at the start as she allows herself to accept the feeling, and then when she goes deeper you will see her bottom lip quivering. About 20 minutes in Timmy came out and felt like he wanted to lay down. He tried but couldn’t quite get there. He goes back to eat. Querida is still with me, so I regard Timmy for a bit and then send the feeling again and he engages and goes back into the feeling place rather than the thinking place.

At 28 minutes he decides he cannot stand up anymore. He lays down and licks and chews and rubs his muzzle. We have some ear twitching. His eyes remain open, blinking, but not going fast asleep. He is really absorbing it all. At 37 minutes he goes into laying right down. When Querida moves he can hardly raise himself to acknowledge her walking behind him.

Finally he gets up and looks directly at me for quite a long time and then comes to and walks off.

It was a lovely session and I sense was the right next step with him. There was a lot to process and we will see how he is over the next few days; and Querida as she absorbed a lot as well and probably needed to find her way back to the place when ‘eating’ wasn’t such an anxious issue (she is laminitic and has had various owners who couldn’t cope with the management of this).

It is an interesting concept – bringing that feeling of ‘just being’, that time of not knowing anything but love when we are born (and I am aware this isn’t true for everybody), into the present moment, so we can just be that again and ‘unlearn’ what we don’t want to be anymore.

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