At our last session we talked a lot about understanding the feeling of trust. Being trusted means to be able to say No and have that accepted. It does not matter whether that no is from a human or an animal.
Astuce showed us that she trusts her humans enough to give her body scratches now, and Esther gives wonderful scratches. That is fantastic, and so rewarding when you feel that trust, that vulnerability from Astuce.
Additionally, Trust means knowing that the other person or animal will respect your No. This is so important to animals, and Anah showed us this in this session. What Anah needs to know is that her ‘No’ is respected. With Anah ‘No’ now, means ‘Yes’ later. She showed us both of those.
She showed me her ‘No’ when I went a little fast into her space. She put her back to me and jumped her back legs. This is a definite ‘No’. But she wasn’t going to kick me. What she was looking for was for me to respect her ‘No’. I did. I backed off a bit, but I didn’t run away. I acknowledged the feeling of fear of being hurt that came up as my feeling and I owned it. I didn’t retaliate with anger which is a human trait – fear turns to anger in many situations. I didn’t threaten her, or walk away. I just sat, and said ‘Thats Okay’.
Later she showed me her ‘Yes’ By coming and laying down with us – three human beings. Two she knows well, David and Esther, and with you she is talking about boundaries and trust all the time. She trusts you and you need to meet her on her terms. From there she can allow. It is as though she is asking you to start to enjoy the conversation without having an agenda.
Me she has met every other week. In between other strangers have done things to her. When she greets me she inhales me through her senses and she asks me – can I trust you? You are not family – why are you here? I say ‘Yes, you can trust me’ but then she needs to work it through, test it. Each time we meet we have a more open conversation, and this is fabulous. This is something to say thank you for.
Todays session was fabulous. For her to share her safe place with us was amazing. And I don’t necessarily mean the enclosure. Her safe place is when and where she feels she can trust her entire environment, and all those beings in it, enough to relax. She did today. Another step forward. But also now her conversations are going to get challenging. Keep listening and never be scared of saying ‘Right now I don’t know what that means’. It is okay to take a step back. It is not okay to push an agenda. It always better to accept what is right now.
Patience with ourselves is always better than frustration with others.