At the beginning of this session the first thing is to say hello and see where we are, and what may be the next step forwards. To do this I said hello by inviting Anah to investigate me. I put myself down at her level and just waited. This was quicker than the last session and she came to sniff me almost as soon as I had crouched down. This took us back to where she came in to investigate me during the last visit, after sending out an invite and waiting. There is no intention at this point, just a quiet mind, a hello, a ‘how are you?’ and then a ‘what shall we talk about today?’.
I then just used the Present Moment and Regard as I followed the donkeys for a bit. They always had an option to tell me to go away, but they didn’t. When they stopped moving I would go peaceful, when they started moving I would regard them, telling myself what they were doing, and so acknowledging what they were showing me.
There are different feelings we can have when around animals that we want to share space with. There is a feeling that can say ‘ Come here I want to ….(do something).’ Or there is the feeling that says ‘ May I share your space for a while?’. One has a lot of expectations and need attached. One is just a feeling of being together.
If you are not sure of the feeling you are giving, or if the donkeys show you that they do not want to be with you, ask yourself these questions:
- Why do I want to be with them?
- What does that ‘feel’ like?
If it doesn’t feel peaceful, then go into the Present Moment, letting thoughts go through (writing them on your leg if it helps) until you feel peaceful again, then ask question one and two again.
When I sit on the little bench in front of the window I have a peaceful feeling of ‘I just want to be closer to you, Anah, because you are such a lovely donkey’. She feels this feeling and likes it. She yawns. Then I add a little bit of intent to touch and she reacts by walking away.
But we changed something. It was subtle. What changed is that I came into her space, and she managed to share a little bit of her space with me, before walking away. This built up from just following her, getting into her personal space a little bit, but just staying peaceful with that, not asking anything more than, ‘May I be closer to you? May I scratch you in this itchy spots? Can I help you with that?’. This is different to inviting her into my space. We are asking her to open her personal space to us, just a little, and she did. Lovely.
The other thing to remember is to not be false with your intent. We can fall into a trap of being soft, and slow which is not our normal way of being. It is good to slow down, but also be as normal as possible with movement. When walking towards her, be upright, and take proper steps, and smile. Be gentle in your approach , but not wary. Say both words to yourself and notice the difference in the feeling you would share.
We then go back to the scratching intent in the video. I am walking into their space with a soft intention to scratch them in their itchy places. Previously we did the scratching from a distance. Now we are bringing it closer. We are scratching the energy around Anah’s body. At first Anah turns her back, but all I do is scratch her on her back , side, and tail, but just scratching the energy field around her body.
Now we are starting to find places where we can scratch her outer aura, and then her inner aura, and then eventually her hair, and then skin. (Sorry, I couldn’t find a picture of this with a donkey).
When she turns around I go into the present moment for a while and then offer more scratching. She is enjoying the whole process. She has a sensitive spot lower on her nose and she pulls away when I go to scratch that spot. That is okay. What we are learning is the spots where she is sensitive without actually touching her skin. All we say is ‘okay, I am sorry, I didn’t know that was sensitive but now I do, so I will be more careful on your nose’. She then needs to process that feeling and decide if she trusts that.
A little bit later Anah turns her bum back for more scratches. The feeling when she does this is a mix of feelings and you can see the feelings in how she moves. She wants her bum scratched so she is inviting that and saying that is okay, but there is also a defensiveness in the movement. This is when to stay with your feelings of peace and the nice intention to scratch. There is nothing she has to defend herself against
If your feeling changes to ‘defending yourself’ because she looked a little pushy, then you are sharing her feeling. Then she feels your defensive feeling and tells herself, I was right to feel that and she will leave. That is the spiral effect. If she does walk away, just notice what happened and acknowledge how you felt. Get peaceful with that and come back another time. That’s okay.
A little note : When I was scratching the goats chin I was keeping the same feeling I had been sharing with Anah. This is just showing Anah that the feeling is the same when the skin is touched. Anah is watching and taking notes.
At the end I just touched some hair on her head which she stepped back from. The important thing here is to respond by mirroring her and step back also. You then go back and do the action before the one that she reacted to. So I went back and scratched her forehead again but not as close to her hair. This tells them you are listening, and they respond to that. It is building the trust. Be persistent, but always back away, and then come back.
Another little note : there will have been a reason for the donkeys choosing that spot where they have their hooves trimmed. They now have a different feeling to process in that place. We will have to wait and see what happens.
The process
Go and say hello. Allow them to come into your personal space.
Go into the Present Moment and then watch their movements for a little while. Then walk towards them, stop, and scratch, and repeat, getting closer and closer until you are scratching them about 100mm outside the hair. Notice any sensitive spots. If they turn away when you walk towards them, stop, take a step back, and wait. When they turn their head back to you, take another step forward and scratch. Just keep practicing and you will notice more and more, and you will know when to stop and start again. If you have a thought or feeling that is not peaceful, then go present for 20 seconds, and then start again.
Most of all enjoy.