Today I learnt how powerful the energetic mind can be. Today I learnt how gentle it can be. Today I learnt that gentleness is the greatest power. Tread softly on this earth as if it was a patchwork of lace. Communicate in whispers so you are heard more deeply. Allow the energy to settle around you like silk. Shut your eyes, close your ears, lose your tension, and listen.. with every sense of your self.
As we practice meditation and deepen abilities to connect with the energy around us, and within ourselves, we can start to communicate in very different ways. We can listen to the real conversation that is being had all around us, all of the time. Until recently I have always pushed myself to try and connect energetically with my horses on an individual level. I have been trying to control that connection so it makes sense to my intellect.
Then there came a point when I felt that control was not the answer. Releasing control was what was needed. It happened slowly and has not been an easy path. We are conditioned to control. If we are not ‘in control’ we are weak, lazy, have no purpose, ignorant, frightened, unconfident, and any other label you wish to put on it. But it is an illusion, this control. We are not in control of anything. Once you start to understand that you are not in control, you can start to release that anxiety about being in control. And it makes a big difference to your life.
When I released the control regarding the herd of horses that share my journey, they did not leave, they connected with me stronger than ever energetically, and they sought me out physically. They choose to be in my company when I am around. Our relationship has strengthened considerably. And this letting go of control of all facets of your life has a surprising affect on all your relationships.
Once I unburdened myself of this need for control, I started deepening my understanding of the connection of the whole. The energy that is all around us. This is an extract from my journal this morning:
I had a headache this morning which felt like my head wanted to burst, but it wasn’t an ache or a pain as such, it was a sensation of something wanting to be let out. I went into a meditation with amethyst and aquamarine crystals, and dropped into the sea until I could sense the calm of the depths and feel the water and the sounds of the deep. I felt for the crystals and had an amazing sensation of all the crystals everywhere spinning up and around me like a whirlwind and I could feel there power. They whizzed away and left the softness of the purple amethyst.
I felt myself come out of the sea and sense the air and the wind and the rain. I could sense the birds and the insects and had a fleeting sensation of the hive intelligence of bees, and wasps and hive beings. I felt the herd intelligence as well, not just my herd. The trees were present at a depth of feeling I have not felt before. After a while of taking in all these sensations I felt the power of the horses energy and the energy around me and stayed with that although it was difficult. It was easier than the last two days..like I could be within that swirl of power and know it wouldn’t harm me, but that it was more powerful, and also more gentle, than I could ever be. It feels like silk as it pours over and around you, strong but soft.
The throbbing in my head was getting stronger so I went into that. It was a weird sensation of little pings or sparks. It started at the frontal lobe, then down the centre, and then I felt a pressure on each side of my head. All the aches and throbbing shifted very quickly and I felt very much at ease in my own head, like a change had happened that let go of everything that was scrunchy and tight. All the wrinkles felt ironed out. I can’t really remember too much about this part of the session. It was like my intellect wasn’t there to record anything. As my head eased I felt the herd energy again and slowly I came back.
Connecting energetically, and deepening meditative experiences can only happen with practice. It takes time, but at many points in the journey you find a moment when everything makes sense. This is one of my moments. Understanding the power of the herd, the power of every natural being around me. Understanding that I can be part of it, not apart from it. Understanding the power of gentleness..