The Patience Paradox

The word Patience came to me this morning (3rd february 2021). It came up yesterday when I was asking Timmy to join me in finding our Present Moment. After about 15 minutes or so, I sensed a frustration in myself, although I was telling myself to be patient. Embracing the new knowledge of being able to communicate through feel, rather than words, I decided to explore patience.

I first made sure I had peace of mind, and then I thought the word “Patience” and asked myself where I could feel it. I could feel it like a heavy, cludgy, clenchy feeling in the area of the diaphragm. When I felt this sensation, I then asked myself to describe the feeling in words and the first word that came to my awareness was frustration. So, when I think ‘patience’ I communicate ‘frustration’. How confusing is that to an animal who only communicates in feelings and doesn’t know the words. I am telling myself to be patient and all they get is a sense of frustration from me!

This could also work with teaching a child. When you are thinking about trying to be patient using your thoughts, you are giving off a feeling of frustration which the child will pick up on, and will then become disheartened with what they are trying to learn, unconfident in themselves because they can’t get it, and even (if this happens often enough) fearful about learning entirely. How interesting!

So, then I looked at the word ‘Impatience’.

When I thought about this word I sensed the feeling of cludgy heaviness lifting and dissipating, and I would describe that feeling as resignation, or even acceptance, weirdly. So, for an animal, this would feel good. I have accepted what is happening even though it might be that I am walking away and giving up, in my own thoughts, to come back to it another day. To the animal it is relief and feels relaxed again.

This is a fascinating paradox to me, particular when I am with my horses and asking them to do something with me, or teaching even, and is something that I can now change, having figured out the feelings behind one of the most important words in animal relationships – patience. To change the feeling I just went into the Present Moment and slowly let go of the frustrated feel when I thought about ‘patience’, and allowed in a sense of peace with the word. Patience is now a feeling of peace. So, if learning is not happening, I now ask myself what feeling I am truly communicating in the moment of teaching, and change the feeling. The thought is irrelevant.

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