At first the donkeys didn’t want to talk, but after a while they chose the place where they were happy to engage and have a conversation.
At the start it was about sharing the present moment and then approaching, and then sharing the present moment again, and then approaching again, until I was at the same distance as the last time we worked with this. It was a lot quicker this time, getting close to the donkeys. But the last few steps showed how wary Anah is, of people in her personal space.
All we can do is keep being patient and persistent and always offering peace of mind. No intentions. No needs. No expectations. All we share is a feeling of peace, and when we move towards her a feeling of love and giving affection. Anah distrusts affection. Maybe she trusted it before and it failed her. She has a history that we don’t know everything about.
About 30 minutes into the session things changed. By being persistent with the feeling of affection, alternating with the present moment, Astuce decided that she wanted to engage with the affection and allowed scratches all the way down her body on one side.
The goats acknowledged when the change happened and shared that, showing their support and excitement. The goats are part of this family. They like the affection from their humans and trust it, and they love it when the donkeys let go of an emotion and allow something to change, however small.
Anah also accepted the feeling, even though she didn’t want to accept the physical touch. She licked her lips when I was grooming Astuce (which unfortunately you can’t see on the video), and she moved forward with Astuce as Astuce invited me to give more scratches.
Anah does accept the feelings offered, but she doesn’t trust the feelings yet. It takes a lot for her to be vulnerable to a human being, and she also feels protective of Astuce, so allowing Astuce to be scratched was a big step for her, which David and Esther picked up on.
I suggest working more with both of them, but focussing a feeling of physical scratches for Astuce, waiting for her to invite you, and then giving big scratches. Remember it was 30 minutes before the first scratch was allowed, so take the time it takes and work at their pace. Give yourself plenty of time. Always include Anah in the process, offering her distant scratches as you scratch Astuce, giving the same feeling to both of them. If Anah gets itchy and scratches on something, picture your fingers scratching that spot as well.
A point to remember: if something changes and Anah allows a touch, or you find you can scratch Astuces legs, don’t get excited or push it. Do a little bit. Step back. Say thank you. Wait for the invite and repeat.
Have fun.