A little bit of pressure and release work with Anah and Astuce a couple of days earlier caused a break of trust, but the thing to do with this is to forgive yourself, and learn from it. We learn from making mistakes, and learning is a good thing.
Astuce is wary today and not wanting to engage or connect. We just say that is okay and be peaceful with that. Astuce seems to go inside herself when something that she doesn’t like happens. Some animals will go further and deeper inside if their boundaries are constantly pushed, and they are constantly not listened to. Many animals appear to be submissive and easy to do things to when this has built up and up, until they either shut down completely every time a human comes near them, or they suddenly blow up when you are not expecting it. Going inside is where Astuce feels she can shut off herself from what is happening. This is our learning point. When we want to be with Astuce we need to be aware if she starts to go inside herself, and then retreat and say that it is okay, and wait for her to come out again. She needs to know we are listening to her, and that pressure frightens her.
Anah is more expressive in how she feels. You know when she is saying ‘No’ because you can see it in how she uses her body. She turns away, she flattens her ears, and she shakes her head at you. With Anah it is about listening, but also she is teaching. She says that it is okay to say ‘No’, to have boundaries that you don’t want others to cross. She also says that it is not okay not to listen to a No. If you listen to her ‘No’ and respect it, she will reward you with trust. And her rewards are beautiful kisses today.
I think this whole session was about them teaching you. They are teaching you how to say No, and they are teaching you that it is okay to say No. It doesn’t mean that trust is lost if No is listened to. It means that trust is gained. If No is ignored then trust is lost.
So for this week it is about continuing with approach and wait, and feeling okay with waiting. Respecting the No and listening and saying ‘I am okay with that’.
- Offer the present moment
- Regard or watch what they do and say that is okay
- When they come back offer the present moment again
- Always be at peace with what they do.
Be aware of where each of you are and what is happening. So if Esther is working with Astuce and Astuce is responding, David needs to wait and regard that. If David is having a conversation with Anah then Esther will watch and wait. Quite often a conversation will be happening and then there is a distraction. Be patient and share the successes.
Additionally, there is a human exercise to do. When you say No to something how does it make you feel? When you say No to someone you like, is a friend you respect, or you feel knows more than you, how does that make you feel? Imagine saying No and having that listened to, and feel that. Then change it and imagine having it not listened to, and feel that. There is a big difference.
In the video course look at ‘Section 5 – Trust in your life’ and work through the videos, working with the situation of saying ‘No’.
Another little note for Esther. You share a feeling with Anah regarding personal space. If you watch the first part of the video, when Anah steps into your personal space you back off. Think about how that made you feel when she stepped into it and acknowledge the feeling. Use the exercises above to feel it and let it go. If you can change your feeling Anah will change hers to.
You are your animals guardians in the human world, and the Trust Technique is a process of learning to listen to what your animals need, and are telling you. Working through this section with some of your feelings will help you know that you don’t need to doubt yourself when it comes to what is best for you and the donkeys. You are doing amazingly well and it is a journey that will have huge rewards.
Trust yourselves and the donkeys will trust you.