A Moment with Turtle

During a retreat with Conscious Unity Retreats recently (March 2024) I experienced two major spiritual and emotional events which I thought I would share.

The first one was during the first part of the retreat in Tembe Elephant Park, and the second was in Ponte Malongane in Mozambique. The first I shared as the post ‘Walking in the Shadow of Leopard’. This post shares my experience with the sea and the message a turtle gave me as she drew my heart and took my fear .

When I was 11 years old I was holidaying with my family in Liberia. My Dad and I were out swimming in the sea. We decided to return to the beach and were riding the waves, when a rogue wave hit us and royally dumped us on the beach. I was still very light and the wave took me back out in the backwash and I lost hold of my Dad. I strugglesd to find breath and I had no control of what was happening. After a while my Dad got hold of me and dragged me to shore. I have never returned to the sea past paddling since that age, although I am a strong swimmer in pools and rivers.

The inability to find enough air and the fear that brings, came up with the first snorkelling exercise as we went out to swim with the dolphins. The sea had huge swells and while I was snorkelling I saw a Turtle. I personally didn’t see any dolphins because the turtle just drew me into her eyes as she looked at me and I just floated and watched her. She was beautiful. Then I realised I couldn’t see anybody else. I turned around and as I did I got water in my mouth and mask and suddenly I felt that fear again. The group were so amazing and supportive. They got me onto the boat and I was able to release all the emotion that came up from that fear.

On a deeper note this fear was also about not feeling comfortable when out of my depth. A need to be in control so not venturing outside of my comfort zone. This marries well with what the Leopard was sharing as well. It took me a day or so to process the feelings and release the holding. The cyclone that hit us that night and through the next day matched my energy as I went through the phases of anger with myself for holding onto this fear for so long, then forgiveness of myself as I realised I was exactly where I should be, and from here I can become who I am meant to be now.

A Moment with Turtle

Slipping into the ocean

We meet Turtle

And are invited home.

For just a moment

She meets our eye

And shares all of herself.

Her heart, her strength,

Her peace, her presence.

These are her home.

As she travels the ocean,

And walks the land,

Her home is with her always.

As our home

Is with us

Always.

Karen Bailey