The term Persistance came up today; what it is and how it relates to patience. Persistance is one of the four P’s of the Trust Technique (Peace, Patience, Persistance & Purpose) and we were doing an exercise around what each of those mean to us as practitioners. I had decided to video my understandings and while doing that with Risada she turned her back to me and lifted her right back leg again.
This she has done persistently for a long time. I always thought she wanted me to scratch under her back legs, but often she would put her ears back or stamp her foot when I did. I have always struggled to work out what she is trying to tell me with this behaviour. The video gives initially my quick overview of the four P’s and then shows the way Risada behaves with her back leg.
After this conversation I decided to take some time out and talk to her energetically about this behaviour. I asked her to show me energetically so I can understand, as I cannot understand what I ‘see’ in the behaviour. I need to feel it.
When I do this type of connection I free-flow write as I experience. Sometimes the words won’t make much sense, or may sound dreamlike, but I try to just share what I get without too much intellectualisation. This is the type of conversation anybody can have with another being. You will get different senses, feelings, images, colours. You may be drawn to elements as I am sometimes, or crystals (earth healers) which I also am ocassionally. They are all connected and part of the universal energetic communication.
When I first connect with her I feel a discomfort in my uterus. I ask her ‘Is that your discomfort?’. I then sense a separation of her back end from the rest of her body. This is something that I feel regularly when I am asking about areas of discomfort with animals. I often feel a sense of separation of the area from the rest of the body, which tells me the flow of energy is disrupted.
Risada lifts her back leg again energetically and I get a sense that she wants me to take something away, take her discomfort away. It is not an itch. It is deeper. Much deeper.
I see a triangle within her pelvis, red and orange flames. I sense a need to go very softly into the triangle, into the flames. Gently and softly.
I feel a connection with water, the element of water. It joins us, softening the flames away enough to see. Cooling the fire within.
I see a child. My lost child, her lost child, intertwined with the fire, holding each other, supporting eah other. I feel a sense of power as these children twist together in the triangle, one but not one, whole and complete as one, but yet individuals.
They are the power source. The source of our combined power. Our hearts beat together and become one with the power. We push down into that power, into the red and orange flow of energy. A flow now not flames flickering, just a flow of power. We push back and down and leap forward over barriers towards a light.
I suddenly sense all the resistance I have put up to moving forward over the years, and how she has shared that and held it until I was ready to leap over it with her. I sense the power that has been boxed in to the pelvis area and the womb and the uterus, the fear of releasing it without knowing if we can control it. But, it doesn’t need controlling, it needs to flow to balance the power.
There is a relief and a relaxation as the bright red and orange fades to small points of light, balancing and glowing.
I sense a resistance in my gut now, a fear that needs to release about what has been unleashed. There is a desire to push it back. I take hold of myself and pull it towards my heart instead of pushing it back. As Risada puts the power into her core and into her heart I mirror her. I love the power, the soft strength that is the foundation from which love can spring.
I get a sense of how I can work with enabling that power to keep flowing by allowing it to flow through the heart, through love, rather than through the fear that keeps wanting to surface in my solar plexus.
I ask Risada how to soothe my anxiety.
We drop the story that love and power are separate and opposite. Love is power and power comes from love. If we are anxious when we feel power we just need to feel the anxiety fully, and acknowledge it. Move it by loving it too. All working together give us connection to ourselves. Anxiety that is not based in a story, but is based in the present is to be acknowledged.
Risada shows how she uses her anxiety to tell her what to do next. She loves it then releases her power into action, her fire, her pelvis. She shows me also how anxiety can freeze and how power can move it to release it, how to explode it through movement and let it go. The explosion is an explosion of power but joyful. There is nothing to fear in the power itself.
I thank Risada and ask her if she will allow me to look at her pelvis from the physical perspective. I feel a slight misalignment in her pelvis which is the physical symptom of the energy she has held. There is nerve pain also and season pain as well. I feel a re-alignment starting as I focus on the bone. There is a squeezed area of ligament or tendons (medically I don’t know it is just a sense of something flexible between pelvis and spine). It feels like elastic bands, one is overstretched on one side, and the other side is scrunched up tight in a ball. They start to balance up, stretching and tightening. They feel a bit weak unable to support themselves as they re-align. A little yellow light goes into them offering them strength.
That is enough.
Thank you
Healing Yourself is Connected with Healing Others
Yoko Ono