Recently, as the days have become shorter and colder, I find myself working with my own connection, as though it is my time to deepen these connections, go into another layer.
It is as though I am being drawn into knowing more. I am at a place where I can be at peace, be present, and know and understand when I am not at peace, or in the present moment. I can distinguish between the two.
I feel as though I am being drawn into “working within the realms of now“.
What does that mean?
What it means to me I will try and explain. It will mean different things to different people. I have been working with my energy, my connection to mother earth, the universe, the elements, other beings such as the herd over many years now, working with understanding what is coming to me in the present, witnessing healing, sensing the work of the crystals, sensing the power of the elements, and learning to communicate what I am receiving within my energy. What I seem to be being called to do now is participate.
I have learned to listen and hear, now I am called to ask, to act, to take part.
I have found in the last four healing sessions I have done that I am making requests. It was a subtle change to my sessions. It was as though I was being given permission to ask for help.
For example, I felt drawn to do another session with Querida this morning, but this time I found myself asking the earth to draw her pain out through her feet to relieve her pain and help her walk. (She has been feasting on hay seeds and has a flare up today of her laminitis).
This was also a session where I was asking Querida to work with me to help ourselves, but within the acceptance of knowing we were on a journey with this dis-ease, and where we were right now in that moment was exactly as it was meant to be.
I had had a similar session with Risada yesterday. I did another tapping session but using my own words this time. I sensed a deep sadness within her which we released. I sensed this was what was causing her ‘sticky feet’. It is an interesting feeling to know this sadness, to feel it, and then accept it without judgement, shame or guilt, and then to sense it leave and change. The horses are supporting my learning and advancement on my path, with their acceptance of where I am, and their offers of themselves into the connections.
Confused? I was for a while as I tried to intellectualise what was happening.
How can we accept all that is in this moment – now, but also ask for an action , ask for a change, ask for help? Do we have that right? Should we be doing that? Are we entitled to ask the wind for help, the earth for assistance? I think we are – as long as our intention is based in love for others, not want or desire for ourselves. Basing our intention in love is acceptance of what is right now in the present.
We accept and love what we have now. We work with what we have now. Our request for change is based in knowing that where we are now is exactly where we should be, but not necessarily where we could be. When our intention is to help through love, that ripples outwards. When change happens we accept that change as the new present.
Here is the difference : I asked the earth to help Querida by drawing out her pain. I didn’t ask the earth to make her better because I am tired of soaking hay. There is a very different intention between these two statements. There is also a very different feeling when we ask these two questions. There is a very different feeling within the energy or connection as well. When we ask for help for another being without any consideration of the consequences to ourselves, the connection feels wide open, and what comes back will benefit the whole. When we ask for something to ease our own suffering without cognisance of the consequences to the universe, the connection feels jagged and heavy, closed off.
A lot of new experiences have led me to this place. For example :
The questions I ask my tarot cards have slowly changed over the last few months, not in what I ask, but how I ask.
I find myself changing the way I engage with people in the written word and the spoken word…more we, less I, more we, less you. Not always but more than I used to.
I also find explaining to the younger people in the family the consequences of something they do to others, rather than to themselves. The consequence to themselves is their own journey, but understanding the consequence on others, whether that is another human, an animal, or the environment, I feel now is more important. By understanding the consequence to others we will change how we act. For some this will be a longer journey than for others, but it is a journey that starts with a seed.
I have also been drawn into the art of how we use our words through the words used in the tapping connections I have been exploring most recently which you can follow in posts from the last week.
In addition to all the above I have had to re-address a level of guilt about not spending physical time with the herd. The more remote sessions I practice the less physical time I seem to spend with them; but I am learning that this is the fundamental nature of connection.
I may not be there physically but I am there anyway. I am connected. Always. I just have to ask a question and listen for the response. Wherever I may be. That is being present.
I am opening my perception. I am feeling more rooted. I am listening to the conversations going on in the background at an energy level, and filtering them. I am developing my own boundaries and rejecting what causes me un-peace.
For me, this change is a sub-conscious knowledge coming into my conscious self deeply. It has been in my conscious self in a sort of shallow way up until now. I believed I was connected to everything. That was the first step I think; to put out feelings into the connected world, to touch another being without words, just feelings, and then to accept that the feeling coming back is ‘truth’.
Now I take a new step on my journey into the healing path. A deepening of the knowledge that I make a difference, an understanding that the ripple of energy I send out has a real effect. I am bringing alignment into my conscious and subconscious self. I am also accepting that I am enough, that you are enough, that we are enough, wherever we are on our journey.
When our subconscious intention is to bring light into the world, our conscious self needs to walk in the light of that intention.