It has been interesting these last week learning to wait. It has been rewarding learning to wait. With both there has been a fear too, a worry that if I don’t ask I won’t know.
I have learnt to be present, connect with my own energy and allow it to roll outwards, and then wait. And in the space comes what I need to know.
This has been a journey of only a few days and yet it feels like it has been building to this for a lifetime. It feels like I have been here before, and yet this is new, stronger, with more potential. It is being human.
As usual it began with lessons from the herd :
- Stop trying
- Stop separating
- Stop blocking
- ‘Be’ more
- Listen deeper
- Respond now
I had gone back into a phase of seeing physical problems and trying to fix them. I had gone back to separating connection into three parts – physical, emotional, and spiritual, when in reality they are not separate. I was blocking my energy by putting things in boxes again.
But, in a weird way, this disconnection was the right thing at the right time, because I have learnt so much, reconnected even stronger, and feel the power of that connection through my whole being. I took a step back and just sat with the herd, just being, and feeling the connection with each of them, letting go of looking for something that was wrong, but instead allowing all that was whole and right to be. Each horse, and the herd as a whole, held me within that energy. They showed me how to ‘Be’ more.
They then showed me in these last two days how to listen deeper by just being, and allowing what they wanted to tell me, to arrive in my consciousness, and from that I knew how to respond. One response was the feel of acupressure, and knowing where to hold and wait and release, and from this I went back to the intellectualising after the energy lesson, instead of the learning first and applying.
This is an interesting lesson for me in trusting the connection totally. Querida said something to the equine bodyworker I had working with the horses for the day a week ago. She said ‘Tell her I don’t want to be a part of her project anymore’.
What does that mean? It has taken me a few days but I sense I am finding it. I believe, and this feels right to me, that she was telling me to “stop applying my intellectual thinking to the connection, and start applying the learning from the connection to my intellect.“
It is quite a deep change for me. Crumbs have come into my path to help me find this truth. ‘The Medicine Womans Prayer’ helped me find that feeling again of walking the path with another being, instead of rescuing, fixing or healing. The equine bodyworker helped me return to my healing energy and listening for when it is asked for. Listen to your horse videos have put be back to the ‘waiting’, rather than the ‘looking for’. The herd have told me to respond to what the connection is asking for, and to stop buying into the intellectual learning, unless the intellectual learning is confirming what I am feeling.
Another help I have had with this has been two lovely donkeys that live locally to me. Their humans asked for a trust technique consultation, but when I have tried to do that, the donkeys have put something in the way, to the point of my video recorder not recording any demonstration even though I thought it was working and on.
So the third visit I shut my eyes and just asked what felt right. What felt right was not focussing on the Trust Technique. What felt right was focussing on what the donkeys were asking for first. And I took my oils and did a little self -selection with them. They showed me their gratitude by allowing me to touch them briefly on their heads, which was enough for the day. The connection with them strengthened. The Trust technique Consultation will happen if it is meant to at the right time. The lesson of “Wait”.
The herd yesterday showed me my reward for working through all this and coming back stronger. They balanced my energy centres and showed me that balance, and for the first time in a while I felt light. We then stood together as we all felt into that balance. This morning I was encouraged to explore the energy centres (chakras) in each of the horses, and understand the difference between balance and imbalance of a particular energy centre, and that that can change from moment to moment.
Once an imbalance is acknowledged it is as though the energy of that centre starts to move and shift and rebalance. Sometimes it doesn’t happen completely, but it changes, and then will change again. This is something we can connect to and regard. By watching we can help to change it, particularly if the imbalance is based in the human/horse relationship, as it is linked and thus changes in both.
This has been a rather complex part of my journey and not easy to intellectualise, but I will end with the Medicine Woman’s Prayer (Sheree Bliss Tilsley – Falcon Spirit Healing), as it summarises where I am very well.