Giving responsibility back – part 2

Querida’s story so far

The other day I offered the herd a bucket each with some minerals, meadow chaff, and wormwood, plus an apple treat. They love these bucket treats and I never make it a regular occurrence, just when it feels right. In the past Querida has eaten hers as quickly as possible and then pushed every other member of the herd out of her way so she can get what is left of theirs as well. This time she didn’t – why?

Because I have relinquished control to her for her own well-being, including how much she eats;

Because she is energetically balanced and also now physically a lot healthier than she probably ever has been; and

Because she knows she has the responsibility to tell me when she is unbalanced and needs help or focus with healing, energetically or physically.

And now I am trusting that she is completely aware and responsible for her grass intake.

Querida has been prone to laminitic attacks, and her front feet are somewhat mis-shapen from a bad attack a few years ago. Since she came to me we have had some heat showing up in her feet and a little elevation in the pulses, but so far no major attacks. In previous years I have taken both her and my other pony Chocolate off grass at the beginning of Spring, and put them on hay nets and into a restricted grass paddock. This year, due to changes in the energetic relationship I have with the ponies, the healing we have done, and the letting go of control and anxiety by me, I intend to just let them be, remaining with the herd, and allowing them to manage themselves. I can hear the screams of concern and worry from the horse world already. Don’t worry, I am not going to neglect their well-being, just try something new and see where it leads.

How we can get to a place of enabling her to be responsible for her own health is through energetic connection and healing. Camille Dareau at has assisted me in finding the connection with the horses, at deeper and deeper levels. More information on this journey can be found in our book ‘Musings from the Bench’. There are two main elements in this enablement : first I had to learn to meditate and slowly let go of my egoic need to always fix things, and have things under my control. This happened through releasing many layers of control, and also releasing a lot of anxiety around laminitis in itself, and understanding that it is a physical symptom of either something that needs physically healing somewhere in the body, or an emotion that needs acknowledging and shifting.

Once energetically the anxiety and control were released, the actual physical and emotional healing could be carried out. Querida had some emotional issues that created wariness and defensiveness around humans, due to being ‘managed’ because of laminitis, and due to being moved from owner to owner in quick succession. It took her two years to get to a point where she felt settled in the herd, and now we have done some emotional healing around allowing herself to be vulnerable within the herd, and with humans. Once these emotions shifted a huge amount of physical healing was required.

This is one of a few remote treatments Camille did with Querida, to help her heal her body. For more information on remote healing refer to

We went into the next layer this morning. It began with the bottom of her neck, it felt like the damage at the other end of when her head/neck was pulled… it was right under the wither, deep inside, there was ligament damage and then the healing went into the vertebrae. Then it had a sudden shift into a place further back – it was a strange feeling, like when a butterfly is pinned. It was difficult to identify anatomically but definitely involving her thoracic spine and all the organs below, right through her body. In the healing of that it developed into a sideways orientation/connection with her body – it felt just like a toothbrush against teeth.. there was a high firing place in the middle like a tooth with a cavity. I had to be super gentle in my support to go into it… it made me think of how you were feeling her cns, although that was at a different level – above and around somehow. It settled into her lumbar spine, which felt out of alignment, and there was a really nice realignment like dominoes. Then a sense of her lungs but (this is odd) as if they were her chest without front legs.. the lungs felt full/hard/filled in… and I realised eventually that they had forgotten their felt sense of being lungs… Gradually that was beginning to come back and unfold out when it was time to stop. She’s really working this stuff out now! No wonder she coughs a bit though, it felt like practically no oxygen could get through her lung membranes..

Querida is currently processing the healing energetically, and allowing her body to recover supported by the herd and me. I have had a lovely session with her to help with this process, using crystals with an energetic merge. Now she needs some time, but already I am seeing many behavioural changes, relaxation, and confidence in herself and her abilities to be in charge of herself, be responsible for her own well-being, and know that no human is going to try and fix something that isn’t broken, only help heal what is out of alignment.

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