We are all children. We all have a mother and a father. Some of us become mothers or fathers, some of us don’t – as it is meant to be.
20th June 2020
There is something in the air, the energy, the collective. It is to do with remembering the love, forgiveness and compassion bond..the mother child bond. We are all sons or daughters, whether human or animal. We all have a mother and a father.
First into my field came the relationship between my sister and her daughter, then my sisters relationship with our father. Then during the “physical undoing” (see previous blog post) I came across an energetic waiting room, and somehow this is significant again.
Last night a friends relationship with her daughter was explored energetically. I sensed a feeling of waiting in a meadow surrounded by trees, then my friend was replaced in the meadow by her daughter and I felt an anxiety and sense of being lost from her. After a while I sensed the mother and daughter together, going back in time, back and back to the only moment that is important; the true unconditional love felt between mother and child; the explosion of love.
Today I feel like the moon is bringing something bigger.
Querida (one of the ponies) has been coming into my field a lot today, and when I went deeply in to connect with her I got this huge sense of sadness, loss, loneliness. She was in the middle of a meadow, alone and lost. Is this the source of the physical pain she is enduring currently? I got a sense of her wanting a human child. I think this was a way of showing me that the answer to the question is with the children. But what is the question? Then I was back in the waiting room again with a lot of lost, lonely, anxious souls.
21st June 2020
I got closer to the source of Queridas sadness this morning. At first I sensed I had to let more love in, increase my awareness of myself and my energy; expand out my awareness to a much larger space. I did my yoga mostly with my eyes closed trying to sense my self, my body, my balance, and then into meditation. I opened up my awareness as widely as possible, but I still sense a hesitancy within myself. I felt for the love that was out there, the huge earthly love.
It is fathers day in the human world but it feels like mothers day, a day to celebrate the mother child love. I felt for the love bond with my own mother, and found it easily. It feels different now, at ease with itself, no judgement, no uneasiness, no sense of the aloofness that I have felt before, and now know to be my ego not wanting me to engage with the bond. Just a love that is profound and blissful. I allowed this feeling to flow into my soul and then expanded that outwards again. I felt for Querida and she was happy, at peace, ready to physically heal.
After the meditation I went to the shelter and Querida and Chocolate were there, Querida healing, Chocolate supporting. Querida yawned and coughed a lot. I could feel the processing happening, the physical healing starting to engage.
And yet I do not feel I have gone deep enough. My heart is palpitating again as I write. I feel anxious, fearful even, like something is waiting for me to be aware enough, to be ready. What is it?
The swallows spent time with me today, one sitting on the strap across the front of my meditation place, watching me, and preening itself. I could feel its energy. I was fascinated by the conversation the two swallows were having. Their speech range is amazing and so many different intonations. They stayed a long time. The swallow : spiritual symbol of love, protection and joy. This makes sense with what I am sensing at the moment. The original love, the forgiveness and compassion that supports that love.
We are all children, if not all mothers or fathers. We all have a mother and a father. What would the universe of humans feel like if all could remember the depth of love that started them on their life, the depth of love felt for their unborn child, the depth of love shared between two beings at the birth of a child? Let us remember, because when we can allow that love out of its box, all judgement and ego will disappear.
22nd June 2020
Today my heart was pounding again. I went into the pounding and sensed the energy of the birds. I went into my heart. The crystal Rhodonite was with me, and Bloodstone. My initial focus was to sense Querida and follow into healing if she required. I sensed her and I could sense her in the love of the Rhodonite, and with my own heart. I could sense her love of herself. I could feel a love coming into me. I listened to the pounding of my heart more and more and opened up a space for it to pound bigger and bigger. I wanted to feel what this was.
The love bond came back to me again but this time it was healing. I could sense the bond of mother/baby unconditional love all around. As I sensed into my love bond with my mother I felt it grow up, become adults. Only the love was there. Everything else, all conditions, judgements, emotions were gone. All memories were based in love. As I allowed this feeling to expand I allowed in the love of Querida and I could sense her love bond with her mother, then Timmy’s with his mother. It was just pure love. I let this love in and sensed my friends love again. I could see the mother/child love bond with her and her daughter. The love bond with her daughter also grew up as mine had. I could feel the holding of each other as they let everything else go.
I was inundated by love bonds growing up then, I could sense them all like ghosts weaving through my vision, my heart. The love as wisps of smoke weaving its spell through hearts, as the pure love was remembered and everything else forgotten. So many people I have known and only now feel in love, within myself, as I let their love in finally, and in each other as all remember. So overwhelming this love. So healing. I sensed Querida again. She is physically healing now within that healing love. I sense her whole, complete, at one with herself.
I awoke to the swallows preening and watching, sitting within the love spell.
I felt the need to hold someone and found my husband. What a beautiful hug.
Is it to be a summer of love? The summer solstice has awoken a healing love which is the only truth we need. Always remember the first love, the unconditional love that pours out at the first meeting of mother and child. As you feel that moment again, everything else will fall away. Healing has begun.