One day and two evenings with a fabulous equine bodyworker, who has given each of the herd the physical releases they were ready for, and their souls had been asking me for, and I am in a totally different place spiritually.
How did I know their souls had been asking me for these sessions? I didn’t before. They showed me in their bodies. Why now after years of not showing me their need for any of this type of work? Because they needed to tell me something on a deeper level. And they called in the resources to help.
The day included physical body releases for each of the herd which they benefited hugely from. In addition we performed two pericardium connections. (The pericardium protects the heart.) One with Querida, and one with Risada. Within the pericardium connection, the ritual allows for a story to come in that tells you what is causing a block at a spiritual and / or emotional level, and what needs to be done to release the block. Most times the body will be showing the physical response to the emotional or spiritual block. This is what it meant for me.
Querida showed me that she was stuck and she couldn’t move forward until I got out of her way. She needed to go up and I was holding her down spiritually.
What does this mean? For me and Querida it means that she is in so much pain that she needs to allow it to leave in her own way.
That could mean that her body leaves too, and I need to be okay with that. It means I need to let her go, let her be in charge of herself, mind, body, and spirit.
With Risada it was very different. She resisted the bodywork initially and Chocolate pushed in and took her session. While this was going on, I connected to Risada and just told her it was okay. We could trust.
In the afternoon she came up and asked for a session. She could not take touch so her entire body work was done from about half a metre away. During the session she wanted me connected and I could feel the areas of tension and the releases as they happened.
She also gave her tiredness away to a friend who was watching the process, so much so that she felt like she just wanted to go to sleep.
Risada then said yes to a pericardium connection.
Risada showed me she was trapped in the womb and to release that she had to come forward in her body from the womb along her back and down her front legs and through her feet. She needed to feel grounded. She needed to feel enough.
This was a huge release. It was like a wave. I cried. Risada shed a tear. And that bought tears elsewhere. Timmy came and stood at the entrance to the barn and just breathed in the change.
The next morning I woke up with a huge knot of fear sitting in my stomach. What was this? I didn’t know at first. I acknowledged it. I went out to see the herd and found three fields with broken fences, including a wooden post that had come out of the ground and was lying on the floor (which was something considering it was minus eight that night and the ground was frozen solid), plus my back perimeter fence line was on the floor. The herd were in my biggest field on grass that was frozen and starting to warm. All the worst things for laminitis sufferers according to books and learning.
I quietly fixed the fences and watched the herd for a while. All I could sense from them was lightness, floating freedom, lifting up from the heaviness of ‘being managed’. As I started to sense into that the ball of fear in my stomach started to evaporate. It hasn’t gone totally yet. I need to give myself time.
I slept on everything and awoke again and went to see the herd. I could still feel the lightness in them, but I felt rejected, pushed away. They didn’t want my fears around them. The rejection wasn’t unkind. It was my feeling and it was for a reason. I needed to learn something. And it came to me very quickly.
Despite the depths of learning I have taken on board I am still ‘managing in case of something happening; managing imagined problems’, and by doing that attracting the problems. The herd have said ‘Enough!’ It is time for me to bring into my conscious self the knowing that I don’t need to respond to what I see with my eyes, I only need to respond to what I feel in my soul. When another soul needs help I will know how to respond.
The herd have said :
Listen with your soul and respond to what is. Listen to your heart and know that in every moment you are doing enough, being enough, responding enough.
Listen like Neige.
Without eyes to see we have to see with our heart, with our soul, with our being. Shut your eyes and go into the dark, and then open your heart and listen. Only then should you respond.