A bit about detachment
As I have been studying to be a Trust Technique Practitioner, I have been getting some experience practicing the process with animals other than my own family of horses, dog and cat.
It has been a really interesting journey for me. I have a lot of work to do to pull everything together to submit the assessments and then move forward to the “learning to teach the process” phase, but I wanted to share a learning point that has had a significant effect on my relationship with Risada.
Risada is the horse in my herd that you will not have seen many write ups on so far. She is the horse that started me on the journey of finding me, and learning how to live in the present. My relationship with all the animals that live with me has changed significantly as I have changed, but the one that hasn’t seemed to have improved much is my relationship with Risada.
I have known why deep down. She is the horse that has had to feel ‘my stuff’ every day since she came to me in 2011.
And, because it was a one way conversation where she was doing all the listening, taking on board all my stresses, anxieties, expectations, worries, joys, sadness, and any other feelings you can come up with, she started to pull back from being around me. Four years ago I realised this was happening subconsciously, and made some changes, but my conscious mind hadn’t caught up yet.
It is only in the last two days, just 15 -20 minutes each morning of asking her to join me in the present moment, that we have made a significant change to our relationship. A deep change that I can feel in the depth of my heart.
The key : Detachment
It is a weird word isn’t it, because the synonyms that come to mind are ‘hard’, ‘uncaring’, ‘not in touch with your emotions’, etc.
But, doing my experience learning with other animals has taught me detachment. Not because it is uncaring or void of emotion.
Because it is the opposite.
Being detached opens a space for feelings to drop into. Being detached opens the listening space.
I have had many different conversations with animals and their guardians over the last two months, some deeply spiritual, some deeply emotional, and some full of joy. I could not have had those conversations without detaching myself from my own feelings.
So when I have gone to meet Risada the last two days I have started to look at myself and her as the clients. We are at the beginning of having conversations where she can share her feelings. She doesn’t fully trust that yet, but the space is there, and I will persist with it until she can trust it. It will be at her pace.
She may tell me things I find it hard to hear, but that is okay because I am detaching from me to, I will tell myself later what I need to know intellectually.
I believe just opening this detached space of listening will move us into a deeper relationship of Trust.
Thank you to all those animals and their guardians that have helped me come to this amazing place. You know who you are.