Does your horse run away when you approach? Does your dog go to it’s bed when you walk in the room? Does your animal nip or bite when you are in his/her personal space? Does your horse stamp and/or put it’s ears back when you try and touch them? Does your horse rear or kick when you ask them to do something? Does your dog growl a warning? Does your dog get right up and personal jumping up into your face?
Is it getting worse?
These type of behaviours can often come about around management of boundaries (not always but it is always a good place to start exploring why these behaviours are happening).
And when I say this I am talking about the principle of ‘Your boundaries are your responsibility’.
Think of it like this : “A boundary is the space I need to stay present with you”.
And that goes both ways. This exercise focusses on your boundaries not your animals. Your boundary is the space you need to stay present with your animal. When you step over that boundary you engage with feelings of anxiety around the potential of the behaviour you have seen before, happening again. Thus you are inviting the behaviour.
The Exercise : for Animals that live outside the house
- Unless it is absolutely necessary, for health and welfare reasons, stop going anywhere near your animal for a while. If possible get somebody else to do the daily routines such as feeding.
- On day one pick a spot a long way from your animal (your front door / the other side of the field / the other side of the road). Find your Present Moment / Inner Peace / Still point. (Find a spot and focus your eyes. Keep your body completely still. If any thoughts or feelings come up, say ‘that’s okay’ and refocus on your stillness until you are completely at peace).
- Start walking toward your animal. The moment you feel any sense of anxiety/fear/worry/concern come into your body, stop. Acknowledge your feeling. What is it? Where is it in your body?
- Take two steps backwards and find your Present Moment again.
- Go home and carry on with your day.
- The next day do the exercise again. Keep repeating this exercise every day until you have walked up to your animal and feel peaceful.
The Exercise : for Animals that live inside the house
- Unless it is absolutely necessary, for health and welfare reasons, stop going anywhere near your animal for a while. If possible get somebody else to do the daily routines such as feeding.
- Put the animal’s bed as far away as possible from your relaxing spot (sofa / armchair).
- Do not have your animal in the bedroom.
- When you get up in the morning go to your bedroom door and find your Present Moment / Inner Peace / Still point. (Find a spot and focus your eyes. Keep your body completely still. If any thoughts or feelings come up, say ‘that’s okay’ and refocus on your stillness until you are completely at peace).
- Start walking toward your animal (whatever direction that is). The moment you feel any sense of anxiety/fear/worry/concern come into your body, stop. Acknowledge your feeling. What is it? Where is it in your body?
- Take two steps backwards and find your Present Moment again.
- Carry on with your day.
- The next day do exactly the same exercise. Keep repeating the exercise until you have walked up to your animal and feel peaceful.
Tips
This exercise is about patience and persistence for yourself. Be patient. Do this once a day and let the peace you found after feeling the anxiety settle into your body over the rest of the day.
You are focussed on your own feelings here. Don’t engage with the animal at all unless they choose to engage with you, and that engagement is peaceful for you. If they do engage with you and you feel the anxiety come up, walk away as far as you can or put something between you, a fence or piece of furniture and go present. The animal will realise that you are being responsible for your boundaries and are willing to NOT share those feelings with him/her.
Because we share feelings, when you are comfortable that you can be responsible for your own boundaries, your animal will change.
An excerpt from The Wisdom of Wildness by Ren Hurst
“On the surface, this principle addresses the responsibility we have towards those we bring into our care to be responsible for our own physical safety, rather than expecting them to do it for us, especially when they are in a conditioned state. Domesticated animals only violate boundaries when their own boundaries have been violated. We have to learn how to be accountable for this and understand the influence we have over them. Getting angry at an animal for jumping on us, stepping on us, or otherwise invading our space is not helpful; being present enough with them to move out of the way and be responsible for our energy is.”
Also have a quick look at this post regarding my journey with Timmy and his aggressiveness.