This is mutual trust. This is mutual healing. This is having no expectation, no defined outcome, no plan, no control. This is just Being.
Yesterday, I wandered onto the pasture and went and stood with Risada, who was relaxing with her back leg cocked. I wanted to just sense into how she was doing physically as she is struggling with laminitis at the moment. I didn’t really get a chance to be specific about my intentions.
I went into my present, my still place of non-thinking, and engaged with my senses and feelings. Within minutes Querida came towards us, picked her spot and lay down. The next thing I knew Risada just lay down right next to me, and Neige followed suit behind her. I stayed standing and stayed present, just sensing into them all.
Timmy then came over. He nudged me a few times, and then decided he wanted Queridas spot so nudged her. She had to get up and he immediately lay down in her spot. Querida moved off, stood for a while, and then lay down again.
At this point I decided to sit down where I was. I hadn’t moved from my spot.
Chocolate then joined us all, got Neige up, who then remained standing, found her spot and lay down.
It was such a privilege. I was honoured that they came to where I was, and engaged in this healing. I didn’t seek them out, except for going to see Risada. Unfortunately I didn’t have my camera, but my lovely husband saw what was happening and took a couple of photos with his phone.
I love how they each give the other enough space so they don’t disturb each other.
This is a major upgrade in our relationship, me with them as a herd, and as individuals. Each one seeks out the present moment with me in different ways and for different reasons, and something heals and changes emotionally every time around the relationship…and this has a huge effect on their physical health, healing the physical body bit by bit, bringing balance between the spiritual, the emotional, and the physical.
There were many fleeting senses coming in and out from each horse as we redefined our emotional relationships. Examples that I remember include a sense of wanting to nurture from Risada, a deep physical healing in the shoulders from Querida, a sense of nervous systems relaxing, and so on.
When we all came back to ‘doing’, Timmy got up and went to crib. He only did this for a second or to. As soon as I was on my feet he came over to do his nipping. This is an interesting emotional response and release in a way with him. It is, I believe, his way of re-establishing his dominance in the physical world of food and safety after being vulnerable. His ability to be vulnerable, and trust in the present moment, is getting longer and deeper. When we first started this process he would only engage for short spurts, and then a fear aggression would rise up. Emotionally I could sense the fear, but he wasn’t sure what he should be fearful of, so there was also emotional confusion. Behaviourally it manifested as pawing the ground, ears back flat, and biting. Now the biting is not based in fear, but more about reasserting his male authority, and tends towards a bit of head snaking and trying to nip. This may change over time as he gains more self confidence, releases more anxieties, and gains more confidence in, and understanding of our relationship as a horse and a human, as well as his relationship with the mares.
This morning Risada came to see me at the fence and I gave her some scratches. We had a little bit of finding the present moment together and then she did something odd. She licked my hands all over and then yawned. She did this over and over again, the yawns getting bigger and bigger, 5 or 6 times I think, and then asked me to scratch behind her ears, something she rarely liked previously. I think we moved another step in our relationship. She released a lot of emotion and I could sense a huge softness come into her. The amount of tension she released (which you can tell behaviourally by the enormity of her yawns and the releasing of her TMJ, if you struggle to sense it) will have a huge effect on her general physical health.
There is mutual trust here. There is mutual healing here. There is no expectation, no defined outcome, no plan, no control. There is just Being.